'Per cent' - Its French

So I was put on hiatus due to a couple of essays which were mentioned in the earliest post (have a read, it has the ground rules: FUN, right?) I thought it was fitting time as any to start chatting breeze wisdom, seeing as it is now the 4-week holidays - No, there isn't much to do in my little town.

Admittedly, I have also taken a few days off from any sort of typing up of my thoughts and decided to reflect; some might call it a pilgrimage, most would call it lazy, never the less here is what I have attained from the break: Chivalry's demise.

After several brief (as well as some more drawn out) encounters with, what I would now call, a friend (although this was not the case before), I had learnt all about her perspective on men. I come to mention this person (who I will call French girl for now on) as we discussed a problem which seems to be plaguing us in recent times and we (men) are yet to work out the correct balance, between two factors - Acting as the gentleman Vs. being a chauvinistic douche.

Now, I have only spoken to French girl twice in person, which is strange as we were so direct about what we said, however one thing stood out from what she said, which was: "All men are dogs and out to get some ass" or words to that effect. After hours, arguing putting the male side of the story forward, we came to a temporary compromise:

-80% are looking to 'get-it-in'
-17% are not (French girl would go on to say that this group is made-up of gay men...)
-3% are genuinely nice guys (awww)

Let's break these groups down.

The majority in this categorisation of men may seem a bit irrational of French girl, however it is important that take into account all the twats lads we know who are in this subgroup of men. It is well known that men are often oppournistic when it comes in the selection of a female, and women can be the same. However, it can be argued that some men are more direct in there approach to women in different settings (he's drunk and all over her in the club).

This maybe true for many men in the club, but we have to look at other deciding factors which may cause this behaviour, such as the woman. So its in a club, dude chatting with his mates, sees a girl (not a woman/lady), dressed in...not much. The guy shouts a derogatory phrases and/or terms at the girl. The girl is, of course, outraged and retaliates in suffragette style - "I'm not some kind of whore!"

Okay, little disclaimer - I, in no way agree with these types of men and I may be bringing up the possible reasons to explain this dick-ish behaviour, but we are looking at both sides of the story. Moving on.

The guy is a yob, of course, but the girl is not, in any way, an angel - This is because the girl may argue she's not a whore, and this may very-well be the case, but you have to look the evidence in the situation: She's in a whore's uniform. This in turn can help to explain the behaviour of 80% of apparently all men, but it seems situational factors could underlie such processes, such as 'woman' disguised as a hoe to lure the more thickle men of the population.

But all-in-all, you win this round French girl - A lot of guys are douches (surprising?) who's intentions are clear, however it could be worse. Would you rather meet a guy who is obviously trying his hardest to hit it or a person who fronts like he is nice guy, but really he's gunning for 'it'?

There aren't as many gentlemen anymore, but that's only because there isn't as many ladies left either.

"Hit it and then quit it, before she even made the bed..."

                                - J. Cole - Back to the Topic

Out.

Ebony and Ivory Live Together in Perfect Harmony

As I sit next to the pseudo-Judo Law, we come on to the age-old question of "what's with these skets?!" Not my words - It was Long-Johns, but we shall cover this crucial question in a later blog, if I remember. So, as the conversation progressed, we went on to another brother's (what he would call) predicament, which was "why do all black women love me?" A deep discussion ensues...

Starting with the latter question, we decided to go through all the possible "desirable characteristics, virtues and charms...and qualities, and attributes, and not forgetting skills," of his being that makes my humble house mate so "irresistible" attractive to the ebony:

• His love of cheese. In fact some may call him a connoisseur.
• Speaks in received pronunciation.
• When making a racist remark, he would then follow up with the words "But my best friend is [insert ethnicity]!" (Okay, I made that one up)
• Originates from Cambridge
• His innocence (apparently)
• The use of the term "Post-coitus discussion"
• His favourite Tupac song is 'Changes' or 'Ghetto Gospel' (he can't decide between the two)
• Owns a hip-flask
• He keeps calm
• He carries on

The list goes on, however it is too long for me to bother to think of anymore stereotypically British traits.

Anyway, the lads and I agreed to the fact that Sir Blue Esq. shouldn't look at his situation as an oppourtunity to boost his ego, instead we all signed upon the doctrine that "with great power, comes great responsibility." And with that, our advice to Sir Blue Esq. was for him to find a lady and settle down! Damn.

  "Don't wanna be a player no more, I think I found someone I could live my life for..."
                                            - Joe Thomas - Don't wanna be a player

Deuces.

Peace world. What's the word for the day?

Its 3am and I am just starting finishing my 4000 word essay, but as my friend (more on him in later blogs, I'm sure) would say: "Alas!" I am blogging my first blog entry - Dope.

So, 3am huh? Well, I thought this was a good time as any to begin my trip into the nether-regions of the internet (Facebook isn't as interesting when people are asleep). As we go on this journey of enlightenment, I will be dribbling random thoughts and giving the low-down on various issues, with the tools of overused poetic devices and/or puns, accompanied with bountiful amounts of spelling and grammatical errors - Good luck if you bother to read this.

Also, I should warn you, (by 'you', I mean myself, for when I go back to look at this, as I'm sure I'll be my biggest fan), I often go from using what I liked to call 'broken English', to more, let's say 'street' talk, as (apparently) I find it difficult to express myself through the art of conversation and written language - You get me?

In this blog, I will also use nicknames or code names to protect identities of people that I may mention in later blogs. I'll try to keep them consistent, but a heads up might be given if I decided to switch things up. One other thing (DISCLAIMER) is that, none of what I write in this post should be taken seriously in anyway, shape or form - If you find a sentence, word or ethos in anyway offensive, just repeat this phrase to yourself: "I'm just messing with you!" A message from me to you.

Anyway, this blog will have some structure to it (I hope) as I will probably end up talking about music and psychology, just because its all I know; seeing as I have an affinity with Hip-Hop and I am also a first year Psychology student studying at Goldsmiths University of London (although, my essay would say otherwise). Furthermore, I suppose I should also talk about other random things, such as "why do we like women with German accents?" or... Well, thats all I can think at the moment,  but we shall see how things go.

                         "Live life, might as well, only way to learn."
                                                               - J. Cole - Who Dat

And I'm gone! Like the innocence of Skepta's fan-base (google his latest video - You wont find it on Youtube...)